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Beware of the Sentient Songbook

lyrics © 1995 by Arlene 'Callie' Hills

Beware of the sentient songbook
That quietly sits on your shelves
The dragons and goblins are plotting
With fantasy heroes and elves
At night when you're comfortably sleeping
And lie unaware in your bed
The lyric sheets plot insurrection
They'll mix themselves up in your head.

A war song becomes Frog of Cambreadth
And black unicorns turn to white
And egomaniacal actors' ghosts
Walk DS9 sets at night
And Heather's old man from the Barrow
Treads Wedding Dance 'neath a new moon
Your neurons are getting quite scrambled
By filk songs that use the same tune.

And then there's the one by Kanefsky
Describing the gay person's plight
With Kinsey's Scale replacing Richter's
So preference moves to the right
There's Science Notes, Trekkies and Wobblies
To bring new ideas to the scene
Your brain heads t'ward nuclear meltdown
As Dr. Who 9* hits the screen.

The one night the conflict* is started
By filkers whose lyrics are odd
The song circle turns into chaos
As rhino bards bicker like gods
The regulars pray for deliverance
"No, not Banned from Argo again!"
But your notebook seems to have vanished
It's off to corrupt neofen!

[1]When these lyrics were written, there were only seven Doctors.

[2]The "conflict" referred to here is an argument ardent discussion between fans, not Conflikt, the Pacific Northwest filk convention, which did not exist at the time these lyrics were written.

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