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Wild Goose Chase

lyrics © 2004 by Arlene "Callie" Hills
TTTO: "As Good As Any" by Echo's Children

I got me to the airport, set my bags down with a thump
Stomach headed for my shoes, my head an aching lump
For though I turned my pockets out, and looked both low and high
Nowhere in the darkness was my wallet to be spied.

Well sure enough I'm sorry and I dropped a sigh or three
That the flight I should have taken would take off, just not with me.
But I had better things to do than sit around and cry
Turned and headed home, for sure my wallet there I'd spy

To get the car from parking cleaned out all the change I had
In minutes I was back at home, tore through the house like mad
But though I looked extensively, my efforts came up dry
For nowhere, not in any room, my wallet did I spy.

I went out to the car again and squinted at the dawn
Grabbed the old gray duffle, dumped its contents on the lawn
And buried at the knitting satchel's bottom there did spy
That *#&$%! (lousy rotten) wallet finally looked me in the eye.

I voiced a string of curses and a howl of grief and pain
Then locked the house back up and headed airport-ward again
I parked the car and popped the trunk as overhead I spied
My scheduled plane was rising up to kiss the friendly skies.

I finally reached the check-in counter, just to hear them say
"It's spring break, flights are all sold out, for four or five more days
We'll put you down for standby and your luggage can be checked
If we can't get you on this flight, perhaps you'll make the next."

I let them have the luggage and went through security
But when I reached the gate, they said there was no seat for me
"The service center's down that way", I looked and saw the sign
And slowly stumbled off to stand in yet another line.

I reached the service counter, saw the tallies oversold,
And sizing up my chances, dared to ask a question bold,
"Could I fly out from Seattle?" said the CSR, "Let's see"
She tapped upon her keyboard as I waited nervously.

Well pretty soon she said, "A-HA!" and then she typed some more
She said, "there's one seat left, it's on flight 7-1-2-4",
She printed out my boarding pass, I asked about my bags;
Already bound for Nashville, "When you get there, show your tags."

So then I headed out again upon my weary way
I drove 200 extra miles so I'd be here today
To get back where I flew out from, I've paid the hefty fees
The moral of the story - KEEP YOUR WALLET WITH YOUR KEYS!

The song above chronicles Callie's misadventures in getting to (and from) Galacticon, in Chattanooga, TN, in March 2004.

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It was created and is maintained by Arlene "Callie" Hills (callie(at)